i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize