I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I want to have your abortion
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
