Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
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