I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
