i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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