Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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