brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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