Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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