I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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