Walk of Shame. In a state park.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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