me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Randomize
