she looked like the bat from fern gully.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Randomize
