i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Randomize
