you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
