Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
