Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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