I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Randomize
