Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
