I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
