you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
