just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
