once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
