I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
