u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
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