remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
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