You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
