That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
