I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
