It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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