Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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