I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
