I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
