what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Be still, my beating vagina.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
