No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
