Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
