OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
