I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
