I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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