maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
