I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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