so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
