The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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