They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
