How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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