Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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