wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
