I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
