so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
