Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
