I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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